The Power of Words


mi-graine: pain in one side of the side
January 26, 2010, 7:57 pm
Filed under: Adoption, Bullying, Life | Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Now, why on earth did I choose migraine today?  No, I don’t have one today…  But migraines tend to last for a long time with me, between two and three days so to me a migraine is a long lasting pain. 

It’s surprising at what words mark you.  It’s not always obvious.  Today during class, one girl told me my mom was a ho.  I was appalled.  How can she say that?!?  Where was the premise to base her prejudgment?  I can’t even say that because I don’t know her, and she’s my mother.  Even if it were true, I’d never say that.  So, enlighten me: why can a random girl just say “You’re mom’s a ho to me?”

No reason, eh?

Those words really marked me… because it’s been hours since they were said.  Maybe I’m just overanalyzing…

But, WHY?!?

The girl who said those words to me was in no way, shape, or form to make judgments.  I could just as easily responded with something as shocking… maybe the fact that she wears a cloak to school… or the fact she’s obsessed with things that don’t exist…  But no.

And, what’s with the stereotype?  Can’t surrendering mothers be doctors, lawyers, soccer moms?  Why ho’s?  I wish the public would just listen, or maybe learn a thing or two.  As a society, we are too quick to judge, mock, and ridicule.  What about those who wear different colored converse, or the girls who don’t wear Aberzombie and Hollister?  What about the girl in the hippie headband and zebra sweater.  Is she overlooked and labeled weird for originality.

Stereotypes cause pain.

Pain is bad.

Therefore, no more stereotypes.

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Hate: to dislike intensely or passionately; feel extreme aversion for or extreme hostility toward; detest

Are humans stupid to love, hope, and dream?  Are we stupid to live?  Hate surrounds us all, it’s unfair and blind.  Are we blind as to its own existence?  I didn’t know that I could hate until this year.  I learned that grudges, when not treated at their start always spawns into hate, and that sometimes, you even forget why you hate someone. 

Today, on my Facebook, I had a few hate messages.  I’m thinking of quitting Facebook for good.  It just isn’t fair that I get hate messages.  Why do people hate me?  Why am I invisible?  My best friend gave me a look of hatred because I might move and I was completely ignored today.  I just love school. 

I just cannot fathom how some people can be so cruel to others, how do they live with themselves?  How can you live with the fact that you are hurting other people.  How do you love if you are living a life of hate?  I wouldn’t be able to do that, but I guess some people are so cold that they have no problem hating others.

I wish I could just fly away to where I am loved, if there exists such a place.  If I could go back two days to where I was lying in the snow, staring at the clouds, with family and friends by my side, I wouldn’t be crying right now.  I guess I’ve figured what hate means.  And it means emptiness.

I’m feeling empty.