The Power of Words

words: 1. speech or talk; 2. text or lyrics of a song; 3. contentious or angry speech

This past summer, a great friend of mine said something that really stuck with me.  Words, when used as put downs, are extremely heavy, they weigh you down.  I’ve woken up many times in my life, struggling to get out of bed, because the weight of my oppression was so great and I couldn’t rise against it. 

She said, the pain you feel is like carrying a backpack and going up an empty hill, with each step a water bottle is added.  At first, the load is minimal, and you think nothing of it, but soon the weight accumulates and you start to get dragged down.  But, even at that, you must continue climbing up, with each step, the climb becomes more and more difficult.  Once you reach the top, everyone takes a sip out of those bottles, but when you go to get yours, you realize there are none left. 

Bullying has that evil, nasty effect that make the victims seem shameful and the bullies feel like champions.  But, truly, there is no battle, there is no fight.  Bullying isn’t a war, rather a betrayal, betraying trusts and bonds between two or more people.  The shock factor isn’t really about what was said or what was done, rather the effrontery and the insolence of the bully. 

Friends are friends, but in this day and age, it seems as if friends are tending to be foes.

I trust no one, just my rationality.


grat-i-tude: the quality of being grateful or thankful
December 29, 2009, 2:40 pm
Filed under: Bullying, Life, Words | Tags: , , , , , ,

This past year, people have gone in and out of my life. I shared laughs with some of the most interesting people, and I befriended an unusual bunch. Some things were hard, but the strength my friends gave me, helped me get through.

The beginning of the year started with tears. I lost a friendship that ended disastrously and I now understood what it felt like to be crushed. I learned that people can be cruel, vicious, and attack anyone, at any time, or at any rate. I cried almost everyday, I truly was in shock but did that stop me? No, I have an amazing family as well as friends that I know will always be by my side. I went on a mission, to prove to everyone, especially me, that even through the toughest times you can still rise against. I rose against my enemy, and my enemy was myself.

The year dwindled on as a continuation of previous events, rarely stopping the frustration and turmoil bestowed upon me. I received death threats, though farces, as a proof that jealousy solves nothing. Things were written about me, things were said. I was bamboozled into the thought that things could be resolved in the blink of an eye, but things take time. Life is composed of little days, months, and years, all insignificant in the span of human existence, but quintessential in survival.

I’m so thankful to my friends who’ve given me strength.

Summertime came and I was given a chance to start over, and I gladly accepted. But as I said previously, things take time. I didn’t allow myself that time, or anyone for that matter. I learned a lot of things with being around little children. One child, named after a certain serial killer, taught me to love blindly, and to just trust your instincts. Some people taught me that I am no greater or no lesser than others. If I live in America, a country founded on the institution of equality, why are they any better than me. Who are they to judge, mock, and ridicule? And I passed that philosophy on to a girl who also had been prejudged by peers.

I learned that there is love in the world, whether you can see it or not. Some people are fighters, some lovers, some thinkers, and some fixers. We aren’t one or another, but rather a mixture of them all. Everyone serves a purpose and I just figured out the purpose of my attackers. Their words, their hurt was meant for me to stumble, but instead I just stood taller. I knew who I was as a person, but they didn’t. I found out earlier than most, and for that I am grateful.

I went back to school in higher spirits than before, although a tad anxious that the contention was still greatly present, school started nicely. I met new friends and I know, for a fact that they are forever. Some people come and go, and others stay forever. My friends are the kind that are forever.

Although I also learned that I am naïve, the hard way, I was surprisingly optimistic about the future. “Things are going to get better soon, I know it!” became one of my many new mottos.

My feelings are important, and I know that ignoring them is bad. I don’t ignore my emotions, or put them on hold, but moreover, I use rationality before acting on them. Showing emotions is something that I don’t often do, it shows weakness and that is how I would like to present myself. But hiding them, is sometimes so hard.

While this year might have been hectic (and *I* spelled that right) I know that 2010 will be a better year.

I would just like to thank all of those who helped me this year. Without you, I don’t know how I made it. Karma exists, may good fortune come your way.