Filed under: Adoption, Beauty, Eating Disorder, Life | Tags: Adoption, adoption movies, Juno, Mom at 16, spring break, teenage adoptee
It’s every teenager’s dream, right? Live by the beach in the warm weather. Go tanning every day? Spring break! But.. it’s not as lovely as it seems. I’d like to thank my mother for my abnormally fair skin. Yes, I am the girl whose mother constantly nags and warns about the dangers of the sun. I’ve gotten quite used to it. In fact, I actually like my fair complexion.
For the first time all week I’ve gotten out of the house. I’ve been sick. On Spring Break. Lovely, eh?
So I went to the beach today with a couple of friends. I decided I’d let people judge. I didn’t wear my watch to cover my scars (some fresh, sadly) and I wore a bikini. If people want to judge, by all means. I, however, will not return the favor.
I had a lovely time. It’s nice to be carefree every now and then. I felt like a normal teenager for the first time in months, and I got a tan (sunburn, sunburn, sunburn). Okay, what am I kidding, I got sunburnt… a little… but my face is tanned!
I guess being an adoptee makes adoption seem more obvious in the real world. When you see a young Asian girl with white parents you immediately feel her pain, even though she might not feel it yet. Everywhere I look I see adoption. It’s like I can run, but I can’t hide. I mean, while I was in line for an ice cream some newlyweds were discussing which ethnicity of a child to get as if children were just a commodity. The sad thing is, they are. I don’t think people realize how often children are just sold.
While I was sick I was watching Lifetime movies. Mom at 16, The Pregnancy Pact, Baby for Sale, and other titles I cannot remember. Adoption, adoption, adoption.
I’m not against adoption being in the media, I’m against the way it is portrayed. There are some things that must be acknowledged with adoption.
There is loss, and there is pain.
There are some things that must be changed with adoption.
There is corruption, there is a lack of rights.
If these movies that reached thousands of people would have information that addressed the above mentioned, then I would be okay with this industry. Life isn’t a Juno, at all. Babies aren’t clean slates. Isn’t it obvious?
If you drop a child on its head as a baby, the effects would be visible. Why can’t the effects of adoption be as visible? Do people need special glasses? I’m willing to hand out pairs. It’s time we fixed this blindness.
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The Power of Words 
I just found your blog, and found myself lost in reading. You are such a talented writer, I felt drawn in from the beginning, able to put myself into your story, unable to stop tears that are usually buried.
I am a first mom, reunited for a year with my son after 30 years. Life is not Juno (you say so much in that little sentence). At least for the (first) parents & the child. There is a blindness, when it comes to adoption. I was blind to the realities of adoption when I gave my son up when I was only 15. My blindness continued until reunion, when I came out of the adoption fog.
I believe that you are handing out pairs of special glasses with your blog, writing the words of truth regarding the effects adoption has had on your life. I wish that anyone considering adoption for their child could read your blog and know your truth. I look forward to your future posts, and can’t wait to go back and read more of your past posts.
Susie
Comment by Susie April 5, 2010 @ 4:31 pmThank you for the lovely comment. It means a lot to hear that my blog is the glasses, it really does.
Comment by lostinanobscure April 6, 2010 @ 12:35 amIt’s great to read you got to feel like a normal teenager (if a teen can be normal 😛 ) and love your words about adoption. Perfectly realistic and honest.
Comment by Campbell April 6, 2010 @ 3:55 pm“I’m not against adoption being in the media, I’m against the way it is portrayed. There are some things that must be acknowledged with adoption.”
Indeed, much is missing… especially when you are watching and hearing through the eyes and ears of the abused adoptee. After 30+ years of clenched stomach silence, I could take it no more. A fellow adult adoptee and I decided there was something we could do. (PPL)
Problem I find… too many adoptees support the fog the industry likes to keep creating, and too few adoptees are willing to break-through and confess the angst and pain that goes with being a living abortion.
I used to wish I was aborted… I used to wish I was dead… I used to drown in silence, swimming alone in my own man-made abyss. But then I decided I have something the world can use. The Truth.
People in and out of Adoptionland need more uncensored truth.
I stumbled upon the rocks of your written words.
You have a gift… a courage and a bravery and an eloquence that makes enormous sense. You have youth and anger… traits that matter and inspire. The Power of Words (your blog) makes an old pup like myself feel light, hope, sad, and proud.
~Kerry
Comment by Kerry July 17, 2010 @ 2:18 pm