The Power of Words


I’m not a victim, I’m a survivor
March 10, 2010, 8:11 pm
Filed under: Adoption, Bullying, Life, School | Tags: , , , , ,

Today at school there was a huge fight.  When I say huge, I mean one girl was arrested.  So there were three girls.  One girl is rumored to be pregnant.  She was punched in the stomach and had scratches all over her face.  She was unrecognizable.  A lot of girls do not like her, she has the reputation of a slut.  Everyone was cheering the other girls on, that’s not fair.  Mob mentality. 

So the girl who punched the rumored to be pregnant girl in the stomach was arrested (I cheer on the inside)

I think that this could be interpreted as a metaphor for adoption.  Some agencies are just so brutal with trying to get babies.  They’re methods are blinding, and like this the effects of the punches may not be felt right away but they soon will come.  And, if this is a metaphor for adoption, then it is a hopeful one.  Hope is something that just shines light on the dark spots and makes them better because forgetting is worse than the pain of remembering.

I’ve gotten comfortable in my own skin, heck I’m comfortable enough to talk to people which is a step up from a few weeks ago.  I’m pretty sure it was my adoption issues/bullying issues that prevented me from opening my mouth.  Actually, it was my bullying issues but my adoption issues exacerbated their effects.  I was afraid people would hurt me and then leave me: all truth lost in the separation.  That bugged me. 

Seeing the fight today reminded me how things are so much better.  Last year a few girls threatened to kill me on numerous occasions.  It was very scary for me to hear those things, the words just scarred.  I would hide in my bedroom under the covers with my doors and windows locked.  People were cheering those girls on when I got hurt last year.  I know what it’s like.

I’m not their victim, I survived.  Like many others, I’ve gotten through this.  I’m climbing a new mountain, right now is a new search for truth.

They never won.  And they never will.

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4 Comments so far
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“I’m not their victim, I survived. Like many others, I’ve gotten through this. I’m climbing a new mountain, right now is a new search for truth.

They never won. And they never will.”

Yesss!!!! THIS is a great thing to read at the end of a day.

Comment by Campbell

It was an even better thing to write at the end of the day.

Comment by lostinanobscure

Things have a way of turning around on bullies if you hang in there. Bullying is huge in schools everywhere right now and schools are beginning to address the issues. so glad you have been able to hang in there. You ARE strong, you ARE a survivor. Good for you.

Comment by Lori A

Things are changing. Slowly, but they’re changing. It’s like adoption: there’s a glare on the change but it’s happening. Oh yes it’s happening.

Comment by lostinanobscure




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